Max goes to Florida for spring break

Michigan bunnies are pretty hardy but like anyone, our car-driving, house-living Max was tolerating winter just long enough to get through it. He looked forward to frolics in the park and sneaking the occasional "borrowed" carrot from a nearby garden. So when a recent demoralizing snow hit, Max packed his sack and headed to Florida. But not until he had toured homes in Michigan and Illinois, to say a cheery greeting. Then, it was off. On the way to the beach, he visited family in Panama City Beach and Naples.

The intent at the seashore was to have a little rest and relaxation. Some peace and quiet in the sun. An early Easter treat to himself. He made a cozy spot in the sand and watched the sun sparkle on the dancing water. The serene scene soon sent Max into slumber.

"Hey, what's this, Adam?" said a gruff voice. "Yeaahhh, it looks like a rabbit. A dead rabbit. What a weird place for one. You thought you were gettin' shells, man, and you've got yourself a rabbit trophy" said Adam smugly. "Goyle, go get me a bucket and a shovel," Adam ordered.

The sudden flurry of activity stirred Max from his nap. He looked up in surprise to see the calloused hands of a teenage boy bearing down on him. Springing up in defense, he chewed out the boy, who was even more surprised to see a live, talking rabbit. "You've ruined my nap! Haven't you seen a bunnyman take a little r&r at the beach, boy?" Max snapped. Bear in mind, his snappish talk was more from fear than anything... poor, sweet Max.

"Uhhh-hhh..." stammered Adam. Unable to talk to a bunny, he called out to Goyle, whose dad is a "pap" in Miami, famous for capturing the unfortunate celebrity in stained sweatpants at the supermarket. "Hey Goyle! Call your Dad, and make sure they have video too! I think the rabbit just talked to me and I want proof of it," Adam said. To himself he thought, "just wait until the networks start calling... I'll have my own show -- it'll rival that croc guy."

Max's whiskers picked up something very bad about this kid... he got sudden visions of big cameras, cages, experiments.... He shuddered. His ancestors endured so much in the past -- torture with shampoo bottles.

As the SUVs full of photogs closed in on the beach, Max thought fast. He was so focused that he didn't notice the sunburn in his ears and on his nose. Scrambling up a palm tree, he shook it and showered the nosy men below with coconuts. The nutty missiles knocked on noggins and smacked the cameras from their hands. Max ventured down the tree to retrieve one, and turned on the men with their own weapon. Snapping away, he threatened to file kidnapping charges.

But in a flash, the photogs retreated. Seems that a celebutante got her 4-inch heel stuck in the floating dock and was flailing about, truly trapped. They were in such a hurry to capture that spectacle, they abandoned Max and the camera he confiscated. "Cool," Max thought. "Now I can take pictures of my vacation."

Max and the photo shoot

Before hitting the road for his spring tour, Max sat for a photo shoot. It's a bit awkward for a bunnyman this time of year. When he arrived at the studio for the shoot, the photographer kept Max waiting while the scene was prepped. And waiting. He sat so long that his cottontail became squashed and flattened. Finally Max spoke up as he thought fondly about his carrot lunch in the car. "Just as soon as the kids get here, we'll start with the portraits," the photographer responded. "What kids?" said Max, bewildered. "You're the Easter Bunny," came the answer, "aren't you here for the Easter portraits? It might be awhile. You can remove your head until they come, so you won't get so hot."

Max's whiskers prickled. This was funny and irritating at the same time. "First of all," said Max "I was sent here to do a photo shoot for my spring tour. Second, I am a bunny but not a Mall Bunny. Third, my head is not supposed to come off. My head's on pretty good, despite the fact that I'm standing here talking to you. How's your head? You are talking to a bunny..."

Max outsmarts the expanding Lego Man

Max needed some blush for his ears so he went to the mall. (You read that right; Max wears makeup but the bunny world doesn't issue judgments on that sort of thing and you have to admit it -- Max would look funny if he didn't have pink in the ears like those cute but fake ear headbands in the dollar bin.) At the mall, Max encountered a small boy who relieved his boredom in the beauty store by practicing some "spells" over the face steamer bowl. That wasn't a very good idea, because a world where bunnies go shopping is full of unexpected events. Thus, a trembling package appeared in the beauty store. The densely packed square could fit in a tote, but it seemed to contain the energy of a giant. Max's bunny sense kicked in and he offered to take the package home for a closer look, away from innocent shoppers.

Well once at home, Max realized he was in grave danger when the package continued to tremble in his fluffy white paws. No grip was tight enough to contain it. So in a fleeting moment to prevent an explosion in his house, he raced to his front door, flung it open and tossed the package out. This was a mistake. See, the contents would only be as large as the container in which they were released. Instead, the beast was to be of extreme size, since the package lay on the grass with nothing but sky overhead.

Oops.

Quickly, Max pulled his doors shut and locked himself in the house and waited. Just outside the door, a giant Lego Man was building itself from the shards of the exploded package. Max thought he was buying some time until he saw the gap at the bottom of the door -- it had caught on the step and wasn't fully secured. Just as he moved to correct it, a Lego Man finger found that gap and tickled Max's nose. Now for sure, the Lego Man knew Max's hiding spot and he unleashed his wrath on the door.

Max thought. What can bunnies do? They can spring and bound, he reasoned. Lego... wonderful and big, but clumsy. So as the door shook and heaved, he bounded up the stairs to a second floor window. He nimbly removed the window screen, flung open the window and jumped out onto a backyard gazebo roof where he watched from safety as the Lego Man raced to the window -- but because of his giant size, had lost many pieces already. Still too large to fit through the window but determined anyway to get to Max, the Lego Man muscled through the opening and quickly crumbled to hundreds of little pieces, showering to the ground below.

"That'll show him", Max thought as he munched on a carrot.

Max the Bunny is born

Max was born with his face and nose, two ears, two paws and two feet. The guy could have been any color... who's never seen a red "good luck" rabbit's foot? But he knew he wanted the most impractical color possible -- a fluffy white coat. Must be destiny though, as it suits him perfectly. Sweet little Max, pure white as refined sugar. He's never seen a good deed he couldn't handle. Looks good on ya, Max!

So far, Max's favorite foods are carrots and hard boiled Easter eggs. He has a classic sense of style, doesn't mind the mall, and doesn't have a girlfriend yet... though he is busy making the world a better place so first things first!

He's got time. Right now he's allowed to be a young little adorabunny.